Top Ten Bridal Worries Answered
Every little girl dreams of what her married life will be like. A bride might spend years planning her wedding day and married life.
However, sometimes a bride needs to also consider that life can be full of surprises. The unexpected can happen, but if you plan ahead, your married life might still be close to the perfect one you’ve always dreamed of.
Here are the top ten bridal dilemmas you may face and what you can do to prepare for them.
How will I look?
Your wedding day is one of the days you have planned for all your life. Which woman has not dreamed of being a beautiful bride, who draws 'Oohs' and 'Aahs' from her guests?
We all want to look perfect; and the best way to do this is, to take care of your skin’s health and start an exercise regime.
Will I spend more than I can afford?
One simple rule to stick by as far as weddings are concerned - 'Smart Budgeting!'. You surely don't want to go so overboard with the spending that you end up putting yourself in a huge debt. Some people can actually end up ruining their marriage if they start off their new life together with a massive wedding debt.
The best way to avoid getting into debt is to decide on a budget for each expense well in advance and plan accordingly. If you look out for sales and discounts before you purchase, you will end up saving a lot. Also don’t hesitate to cut down on your guest list if your expenses are looking unmanageable.
Will there be ‘last-minute’ demands?
Most Indian women approach their weddings with the fear of the groom’s family making the infamous ‘last-minute’ demands. These are poorly-disguised attempts at getting the bride’s family to pay a fat dowry that they can't afford.
All you need to know is that you must have the courage to say 'No', even if it means risking your marriage. Besides the fact that this is illegal, one needs to remember that giving in to such baseless demands will only make such people greedier.
Will everything go as planned?
Most brides are concerned that things should be 'perfect' and that everything should go as planned. But rather than expecting perfection, which may lead to disappointments at times, it is better to be flexible and adaptable and have the confidence to know that, should something go wrong, you will be able to set things right.
How will he treat me after marriage?
Even if you have known your husband before marriage, many men seem to behave very differently afterwards.
While expectations from each other are bound to increase after marriage, you can ensure that your husband does not expect more than you are willing to give by setting clear limits before the marriage.
If possible, openly discuss what you are willing to do and will not do after marriage, to avoid disappointment and resentment.
Will I like my 'New Home'?
This is a common worry for all brides as we are used to the comfortable settings that we have grown up in. The feel of 'our' beds after a long day of work, the quaint bookshelf for a relaxing read at night, the wooden floor to sit on and gaze at the TV... it definitely takes some time to adjust to the new settings and find our space in the new house.
But a positive attitude is all it takes to make yourself feel 'at home' in a short span of time. Be enthusiastic about living in a new space and in no time, you will start loving it as much as you loved your 'own home'.
What does his family expect from me?
For many new brides who have a career, the concern is how to manage work and home, what will be expected of them after the wedding and whether they will be expected to give up their career for kids.
Again these expectations must be discussed openly and truthfully. Do not promise to do more than you know you can manage. Discuss your aspirations and dreams with his family and try to enlist their support. It will make their expectations much easier to manage and reduce resentment at both ends.
How will my life change?
Marriage is a huge decision – one that changes the lives of both people and families. A new bride is always concerned about the tremendous changes in her life after marriage. Living in a new home, with new people, can unnerve any woman, no matter how accommodating she is.
Realise that change is the only constant. Your life has to change one way or another. The decision to marry changes it consciously so you can determine the direction in which it goes. Do your best to control the things you can and leave the outcome to the Divine.
Will my career suffer?
If you are a working woman, you will be concerned about whether you will be able to devote the same amount of time to your career post-marriage. What you must understand is that even men face this problem.
After marriage, both spouses have an additional responsibility – to the family that they are building together. And this requires an investment of both time and energy. Invest in your marriage gladly and learn better time management skills so that you can achieve the same amount at work in less time.
How will marriage change me as a person?
If you’re worried that marriage will change you as a person, you are right. Relationships are meant to change us, to help us grow and mature and become better people.
If you are conscious of your reactions, willing to learn from others, and admit that you’re not always right, marriage will change you in a good way. You will be a better wife, mother, nurturer and a better woman overall.