Every Marriage begins with two people mutually agreeing on spending their lives together for life, but what happens when there is doubt? There may be a will but at the same time there might be a dilemma. Maybe no dilemma, but a sense of uncertainty. If that is your case then Relax! It is only human to be in this situation and these issues can be totally dealt with. Expert Psychodynamic Psychotherapist, Ashish Roy shares his expertise with you by answering some of your questions regarding Pre-marital Counselling.
Q. I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years, my parents want me to get married to my girlfriend, but I feel I am not ready. They think I need a counselor, but I don't know how that is going to help me. What should I do? Pradeep, 25, Jaipur
Dear Pradeep, Pre marital counselling will help those who feel uncertain about marriage, have doubts and want to share their discomfort and expectations. Psychotherapy enables a person to look at these crises which appear at significant junctures in our lives, and can make us question ourselves and think about ourselves more deeply. Therapy is a process where we develop a relationship with difficult parts and issues with the help of the therapist, and subsequently feel relieved.
Q. My fiance and I have been in a courtship of 3 years. We have had our ups and downs. Now that we are finally getting married in May, we want to attend pre-marital counselling in order to discus and resolve a few issues before we get married. How frequently should we go for our sessions? Charu, 23,Jamshedpur
Dear Charu ,Pre-marital psychotherapy would normally involve meeting the therapist once or twice a week and reflecting on the issues with Him/her.
Q. I have know of post-marriage counselling throughout, but what kind of questions would 'pre-marriage counselling' involve? Richa, 25, Thane
Richa, Questions can range from concerns and confusions about choosing the right partner, pressure from parents, taking responsibility about ones choice of the partner, at times feeling both that marriage is useless and also wanting to get married, as well as dwelling on issues around intimacy.
Q. What is the approximate Cost of each session of Pre-marriage counselling? Ravi, 23, Kanpur
The fees is decided along with the client with adequate sensitivity to socioeconomic realities.
Q. I am having an arranged marriage. My fiance and I don't really know each other. Do we need pre-marital counselling? Jasleen, 19, Amritsar
Relationships have various phases and in both love and arranged marriages therapy can be helpful.
Q. My fiance and I have been engaged for a year now, prior to this we were dating for 3 years and 4 months to be precise. We have shared a lot in these all these years and now that we're getting married we want to know if we should opt for pre-marriage counselling, do people normally take it? Sagar, 27, Ranchi
Pre-Marital Therapy is more sought after in urban India and has become more acceptable and is emerging as an important space to engage with ones sense of individuality and rationality. Couples who want to enter a marriage but before that want to look at issues together, when it becomes difficult to gauge the strengths and weaknesses of their relationship, they could seek therapy. Pre-marital therapy becomes a place where both partners can listen to each other and this can produce a more receptive communication in their relationship and strengthen bonds for their new beginning.
Photo Courtesy : Peddu Eeshwar